changes.

 via

You may have noticed things are looking a little different around here at LLA. I have recently realized that change isn't always a bad thing.

I have spent most of my life as a creature of habit, running from anything different.  I would practically have a panic attack thinking about driving somewhere I'd never been or being in a new situation.  Because of this, I have not enjoyed the flow of life as full as I could have.  Now that I am aware of this, I refuse to let my stupid fears interfere with what could be wonderful opportunities!

It has been no secret that this past 6 months has not been easy.  The details, however, have been a secret.  I have been ashamed of myself and the things I have been through, and it's finally time to share. 

For the first time in my life, I have failed.

I failed my masters comp exam, and it looks like I have failed my practicum class.  This is the same class I've been driving all over creation for since January.  While I did get a job out of the practicum, I am frustrated, angry, and, well, I'm not sure what else about everything I had to go through. 

It's been difficult for me to accept defeat because that is so not me.  However, I have decided to evaluate myself because of these failures.  I have realized that counseling psychology is not my passion.  I'm not very good at the technical aspects of it and I know it's not a good fit.  I tried to keep with it because I had already put so much time, money, and effort into it but I realize now it isn't worth it! Why should I spend another second worrying, stressing, and crying over something I'm not passionate about?

So basically what I am saying is that as of right now I am no longer a graduate student.  I am content with my BA  along with my teaching job and my company.  I don't know what the future will bring but I do know one thing:

I'm not afraid.