Dilemma

I have been trying to decide how and when to write this post. I have A LOT on my mind right now, and I need to sort everything out... what better way than to type it up. Maybe you guys can help me straighten this mess out. Warning, this is a very long post that might be a little dry....

So here is the deal. I got accepted to all three programs that I applied for. I have ruled out EKU because they just don't seem to have their crap together (I am definitely unorganized enough for the both of us...) so that leaves UK and UoL. I have talked to people from both programs and it seems that the education will be about the same. UK has more flexibility within the program (I can get my Masters or continue on for licensure or even a Ph.D if I so desired) and UoL is strictly for licensure as a psychological associate. I was planning on getting my LPC (licensed psychological counselor.... I think) but the two ultimately equal the same thing. Also, the LPA is more accepted than the LPC. Other than that, the programs are practically identical.

The biggest concern, though, is my relationship with Matthew. We really want to start our lives together, but cannot afford it right now. I want to make the decision that will give us the best outcome in the end, even if that means struggling through a couple of years. I think he is willing to go back to school, so that helps SOOO much. If I stay at UK, we can continue to live together, but we will not really be able to save up money. (Also, I really need an assistantship to pay my way through school, and they are few and far between at UK. UofL will be a lot easier to get an assistantship) If I go to UoL, he may or may not follow me up there. I would live with my dad (we're talking the entire basement for my own personal bachlorette pad lol), and he may be able to find an apartment close to campus and a Best Buy. We would see each other so much more than if he stays in Lexington and I go to Louisville. Also, we would both be able to save up some money. In that case, we would be able to begin our lives shortly after completing our degrees. I would love to be married, settled into our own home, and have kids before I'm 30... I think that is a realistic goal, especially if he goes back to school. I just don't know what I really want to do. I have this gut feeling that keeps pulling me toward UoL, and I have no clue why. I need to step out of my comfort zone. There is not always going to be someone there to hold my hand, and I need to learn to adjust and accomplish things on my own as a part of growing up.

Who knows......