Babies.

Every time I log into facebook I feel like I see another picture of a baby or another announcement that one is on the way.  I guess that comes with the territory of being in my mid-twenties (oh boy does it feel weird to type that).

I go through cycles of wanting a little one.  For a few months it is all I can think about, and then I snap out of it, realize Matthew and I are no where near financially ready for a child, and decide we are just fine as we are for now.  Right now, though, I find myself back in the first phase.

It seems irrational, really.  We can barely take care of ourselves. How in the world would we support a tiny human? Part of me wants to be rational and put these feelings aside.  The other part of me believes that if it is God's will for us to have a child, he will provide.  It is that faith I am leaning on right now.

I want to be pregnant.  I want to have the experiences that come along with it... hearing the heartbeat for the first time, telling all our friends and family, feeling it kick, watching Matthew when he feels it kick for the first time,  watching my belly move, holding that sweet baby in my arms for the first time and kissing its sweet little face at every opportunity.  It's scary thinking about all the "what ifs" but I believe the good will definitely outweigh the bad.

It is so frustrating to want something so badly but know you shouldn't have it right now... or to worry that you may never have it.  I know the responsible thing to do is to wait until we are stronger financially before we start trying. We are taking measures to prevent pregnancy so my only hope right now is the God has a bigger plan for us than we do.  Maybe he'll surprise me??

And then there's that.... getting my hopes up.  I have been disappointed so many times.  Many months I have experienced symptoms and would fall asleep dreaming of the little one I was positive was coming, only to see multiple negative tests and horrible periods. I want to get my hopes up now, thinking that maybe those couple of days I had to double up on pills because I forgot to take them would result in pregnancy.  I have no symptoms, except for the ones I've created in my own mind. However, when my period comes in a couple of days (I know, tmi, I'm sorry) I will undoubtedly be disappointed.  I don't know what to do with myself.

I guess I need to hold onto the hope that our time will come eventually.  I should spend my time focusing on building my business so we can be more secure and in a better place to start a family.  I should be happy... not jealous... of my friends who are expecting or who have little ones. It is so difficult but I need to focus on the fact that I am not alone and that I have survived many "baby fevers" before this one.  I can appreciate that the journey to parenthood is often not straight and pretty and there are many others who struggle on this path as well.  It will all work out in the end, eventually, even if it's not the way we initially thought.  But the anticipation may just kill me.

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Weather.

I know I've complained about Kentucky weather many times, but I believe the past week has been the worst mood swings from Mother Earth I have EVER seen!

Lets start with last Thursday.  I went to work in Taylorsville in the snow.  It was flurrying outside but nothing major on the way in.  I was there for two hours before I got sent home because the roads were covered. Ugh! On my way home I noticed the weather wasn't as bad so I ran some errands before going home. It didn't get bad here until later than night.  We got a little snow but the roads were safe the next day.  We got more snow on Saturday and again it was gone by Sunday evening. 

So move on to today.  I went to work at 9 am.  It was cold and very windy with a little bit of rain. I was at work for 2.5 hours when the tornado sirens started going off.  Yep... within the span of 6 days we went from blizzard to tornado. My coworker and I had the students climb under tables until she got a hold of someone from the school board.  They told us we had time to drive (less than a minute drive) up the hill to one of the schools.  We sat in the hallway for about 30 minutes listening to the sirens and a radio.  I was caught so off guard because no one expects a tornado in the middle of January!!

The worst part about it all? The weather is calling for snow again tonight. Seriously?! I wish things would just calm down.  At the very least I'm hoping for a very uneventful work day on Thursday!!

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Rant.

I'm not sure where the three inches of snow we got last night came from but I would be very happy if it would go away. I just tried to shovel our sidewalk... unfortunately I think I made it worse. Snow was fun when I was in school. It's definitely not so much fun now. I'm sooo ready for spring. I have a scary feeling, though, that we haven't even seen the worst of this winter yet. Ugh!!

*end rant here*

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Debbie Downer.

I have a fear that I am going to become very sick over the next week or two.  Now, I know that this is slightly irrational, only, it isn't.  You see, last week (Thursday and Friday to be exact) is snowed in Kentucky. Not a huge snow storm and zero accumulation, but still fluffy flakes falling from the sky.  Today, however, was in the low 70s temperature wise.  That's a four day difference, and ridiculous for November! My sinuses can only take so much and this change from hot to cold to hot back to cold is not helping!

In other, more serious news, I've had a pretty rough semester emotionally.  Just when I think I'm pulling myself out of a slump something else comes around that knocks me right back into it.  At the moment I am working on a paper/presentation due tomorrow.  Unfortunately, the subject is a sensitive one due to recent events.  Due to confidentiality constraints I cannot discuss details, but basically I screwed up (so did my supervisor, but I should have known better).  I have what I need for the paper, but typing up all this information is a constant reminder of my mess up and how much it affected another person.  It kills me that I didn't think about what I was really doing and made the assumption that everything was ok.  I guess what they say about making assumptions is true.  I just need to get this paper done and the presentation over with, but that is so difficult when I'm being so hard on myself. 

It doesn't help either that I miss my husband so much.  When I get in these slumps it always helps to have him around.  I hardly get to see him except for a couple of minutes in the morning and maybe a half hour in the evenings before one of us goes to bed.  Being so close to the holidays doesn't help because his hours are longer and later during the holidays.  What I would give for him to have a regular hour job... you know, Monday through Friday, 8-4:30 or whatever.  I would absolutely LOVE to have a full day with him, or to even be able to make plans for a weekend or an evening without having to worry about his work schedule.  Two months of marriage and I still feel like we are dating because we are hardly ever together. DO. NOT. LIKE!

Well, this turned into a rant... I guess I needed to vent.  Now back to work on this stupid paper.

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50 Questions

Sorry again for the lack of posts.I have good intentions, I promise! I'm just kinda bad with the follow-through. Anywho, today has been a... well.. interesting day. I had my first dress fitting, which went perfect except for a certain person going a little too far and telling me my dress looked trashy without straps.

Ugh.

Oh yeah, and getting my evals back from teaching and having a student give me complete "strongly disagree" answers and compaining in the comments section that "points are marked off for incorrect answers."

Seriously, I can't make this crap up.

Anyway, to help get myself motivated (and to be able to mark something off my 1001 in 1001 days list, I've decided to start answering the "50 questions that will free your mind." I think I'll do one every Saturday. We'll see how it goes!

Question 1:
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?
Hmm... If I didn't know, I guess I would say in my late 20s. There are times I feel older, but like I still have a lot to learn and experience. Now it's your turn. How would you answer this?

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Switzerland

"I believe that. But I want you to know something — when it comes to all this enemies nonsense, I’m out. I am a neutral country. I am Switzerland. I refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures. Jacob is family. You are… well, not exactly the love of my life, because I expect to love you for much longer than that. The love of my existence. I don’t care who’s a werewolf and who’s a vampire. If Angela turns out to be a witch, she can join the party, too."  -Bella Swan, Eclipse

You all already know how much I enjoy my Twilight. Well, I have never related to Bella as much as I do now. My tiny cohort of 10 is breaking apart at the seams, and it is apparent sides will have to be chosen. The bestie and I are stuck. We want to get along with everyone, get our degree, and get the hell out of there. Unfortunately, it isn't looking like that is possible. Being friends with some people will automatically put me on one side or the other. While it isn't a fight for true love, it is still difficult. What if I don't want to choose? What if I want to keep my ties with everyone and let them settle their own differences? Why is it that I am so affected by all of the drama when I'm not even a part of it? Ugh!!

Only another week and a half of classes, then finals and I'm done until the fall. I swear it can't come soon enough. 

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Whirlwind.

These past few weeks have been, well, interesting to say the least.  There has been so much going on, I feel like I'm drowning.

I guess the first major thing is just disappointment.  I have this in a few areas of my life right now, but I guess the biggest one is family.  As you know (if you read my last post) my cousin was in the hospital.  Turns out she is ok, and she got to go home yesterday.  The only thing was I had to take her home, which happens to be an hour and a half from Lexington.  Since I'm the only family member in Lexington, everyone expected me to be the one to visit her everyday and check on her and report back.  Usually I wouldn't mind, but like everyone else I have things I have to do as well, like that little thing called being a grad student.  I don't want to sound like I was inconvenienced by having to take care of her. It's not that at all.  I just wish I would have had more help.  And not my mom is lying to me about her childish games.  It's all just so frustrating.  I mean, who can you trust if you can't trust your own mother??

Another disappointment is with some of my classmates.  There has been a lot of drama in our group.  Basically, we are all separated out into different "cliques" and it really sucks.  I hear what some people are saying about other people, and I can't help but wonder what is being said about me behind my back.  I'm so sick of it all. We are in grad school people.  Is the middle school drama really necessary??  I don't think so.  The good news is that I'm getting to know other people (the ones who DON'T talk about other people) better.  I think this is a really good move for me.

To add on to everything, I just don't feel safe where Matthew and I are living right now.  Our landlord installed security cameras in the parking lot, which should technically make me feel better, but the fact that there is a reason for them freaks me out.  Cars have been getting broken into a lot lately, including multiple attempts into Matthew's truck.  His alarm has gone off a few times.  There are also some scrapes on his tires like someone tried to slash them.  And yesterday he noticed where someone tried to put something inside his door to hit the unlock button.  There are scrapes in the pain on his door, and the lining around top part of the window is pushed down as if they had something pushed in there as leverage to hold the gap open.  His console on his door where the buttons are was pushed up and cracked.  I think they were after his stereo, so thankfully we figured out how to get the faceplate off.  Hopefully that will help prevent future attempts.  There was also an armed robbery on campus a few days ago.  I'm just SOOO ready to get out of Lexington. We are looking at Versailles and Nicholasville right now as possible future homes.

So anyway, this is what my world has been like for the last week or so.  Right now Matthew is making a late-night run to Meijer to pick up some groceries.  I got a starter for Amish cinnamon bread over Easter, and I thought we had everything to make it so I sent out an email to my classmates asking who all wanted a starter.  So now I have at least two people expecting a starter and I didn't have the stuff for it.  Bless his heart he is so good to me.  He went to Kroger first, but they closed early for inventory. Go figure.  At least he will get some yummy bread out of the deal!

Ugh. Here's hoping next week is better!!!!

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Beyond Frustrated.

So I have a situation that is getting old really fast. You remember those doctors I use to work for? Yeah, the ones I had to quit because they were driving me crazy? Well, one of them has yet to pay me from December. I promise you read that right. I am still waiting on $216. I have sent her two notices thus far and have received nothing. Apparently she doesn't have the money, but I fail to see how that is my problem since this should have been paid to me in DECEMBER!

Also, I haven't received my tax information from them yet. Can you say illegal? Cause that's what it is. I should have gotten the forms by Jan. 31st. Now Dad is getting on to me to get that information so he can file my taxes and my financial aid stuff. This totally sucks! If they want to run their own business, they need to know and follow the rules. I'm writing letters to them right now to take by tomorrow (because I doubt I'll actually catch one of them in the office). I don't know what else to do. If she doesn't pay me, there is really nothing I can do. It would cost more in lawyer fees and such to take her to court for it. I hate this.

Any suggestions? I'm totally lost.

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Rant

I hope you are ready for it, cause boy do I have a big rant right now.

Today I gave in and went to the doctor. I have a sinus infection and the beginnings of bronchitis (surprise surprise) so he gave me a script for an antibiotic, a script for cough syrup, a sample of a nose spray, and recommended MucinexD. That is a lot of meds to take, but whatever gets this junk out of my system.

So Matthew and I went to Kroger to get my prescriptions filled. The lady said it would take about thirty minutes, so we went ahead and grabbed some stuff for dinner tonight. I paid for our groceries and went to get my medicine about half an hour later (like a good customer). My meds were not ready. She said "you have two of them right?" I answered yes, and she told me it would be a few more minutes. OK, whatevs. We walked around for a little bit longer until I decided it had been long enough. We went back up to the counter and she found my little white bag. I also had to get my Mucinex there (it must have that stuff in it like Sudaphed that people can make Meth out of or something cause you can't just get it off the shelf). It took a little time, but I finally paid for my stuff and we left. On the way home, I decided to make sure my insurance card was in the bag. That was when I noticed it.... they didn't give me my cough syrup! We had to turn around and go back. The lady wouldn't even look as us until she had to, and when I told her I didn't get my syrup she just stared at me like I was crazy! Apparently it wasn't ready yet, so we had to sit down and wait for it. I was sooo frustrated. She knew I had two meds to pick up, yet she only gave me one. I gave them the scripts at the exact same time with the cough syrup one on top as well! No excuse!!!! Also, the entire time we were waiting, this one women was being a total B to one of the other pharmacists in front of all of us customers. I really do not think I will every take my prescriptions back there!! So an hour and a half after dropping off my prescriptions, we finally made it out the door to go home.

I took the Mucinex (two horse pills) and then my antibiotic (one horse pill the size of the tip of my index finger). I still have another pill to take (one I have been taking regularly for a while now) and my cough syrup. I feel like a dealer!!! I also have to miss volunteering at the football game tomorrow. I'm disappointed, but I also have a bunch of school work to do. I think it will all work out in the end.

Sorry for the rant! Once I start feeling better I will have better posts. Pinky promise :)

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Emotions

Today has been a relatively uneventful day, although not necessarily in a good way. I've been trying to decide what to post all day, so this will be quite random.

First, the things that suck right now:

• My mom told me first thing this morning that my rabbit died. You can check out this post for a picture of poor little Caddy-bug :( Of course this brought back memories of George too. It never really ends.
  
• It is crazy cold outside... I want fall, not winter!!!
• I need to write a paper this week, and it just isn't happening.
  
• I cannot seem to get enough sleep! Grad school has completely thrown off my sleep cycle which seems to keep me in a grumpy mood. Christmas break please!!!!
  

So now onto things that don't suck:

• Matthew says he is close to buying a ring!!!! It probably won't be the one I posted about earlier since the diamonds are not very good quality, but like I said, I will gladly take whatever if it means we are getting married :)
• I got some cleaning done today. I still have a long way to go, but it feels good to have actually accomplished something.
• Wednesday night, I am leaving to go to my Dad's to puppy-sit. I'll come back on Thursday for a little bit to help the bestie proctor an exam (and I may stay for class but who knows) and then I will go back up until Sunday. I'm very excited to see Oscar. I'm taking him with me to the pumpkin patch on Saturday so I plan on taking lots and lots of pictures! Staying up there will also give me a lot of time to catch up on school work and study for my only midterm.... or, you know, blog... whatevs.
• I now have a follower on Twitter! haha, it seems so small, but I have had that thing for who knows how long and never had a follower. So thank you to my "personal stalker" :D

So that is it for now. I figured I should lay off the youtube posts until Wednesday. I do want to give a review on the new bsb cd, but I think that will have to wait for another night.

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Ugh...

I had to break down and turn on the heat. I hate those first few days when the heater is on and the entire house smells like burnt dust!! I put it off for as long as I could, but typing a paper while slowly turning into an icicle just wasn't cutting it!

Stupid Kentucky had to go and pass up sweatshirt weather entirely for coat/glove/scarf weather. Ugh!!!!! No fun at all......

PS. Is my layout acting funky for you all too? It is just plain beige in the back for me and I'm not sure if it is my computer or the layout itself...

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Hate to hope

I have a lot on my mind (I know, what's new right?) and I feel like I am always complaining recently. I don't mean to do that, so I've been trying to spice things up with BSB videos and awesome recipes. The last thing I want to do is bore you with my issues. I know things will pick up soon but the last two months have been an avalanche of crap since George.

So the big thing lately is marriage. Matthew and I have been together for almost four years.

It's time.

We talk about it, and it is something we both want. I'm ready, but he is worried we won't be able to support ourselves. I think we will be just fine. Obviously it does not matter what I think... he is the one that has to make the move. These conversations always end up going in circles and only come up once every other month or so. I have tried to "be good" and not mention it, but lately I have had trouble containing my emotions. I guess everyone has a breaking point and I am definitely at mine.

It would not have been so bad except I had an awful experience on Saturday with my family. My cousin got married in March. I'm sure you remember.. she was the one I thought was going to make me wear a pink camo dress for her wedding. They both work at McDonalds, and he proposed to her at Mickey Ds. You remember now? They ended up going to the court house to get married the day after her mom's birthday. Now on to my point. I was talking with my cousin, her mom, and my sister about marriage and proposals. My aunt was concerned that Matthew and I have been together for so long and he hasn't "popped the question" yet. My cousin, the angel that she is, decides to pop in saying that her and her husband starting dating in November and were married in March. When I thanked her for reminding me she just smiled. It was very thoughtless when obviously I was upset over my own situation. I was thinking that if they can both work at McDonalds and she can afford designer jeans and coach bags, surely Matthew and I could make it.

So we had another talk last night. I'm not sure it accomplished anything and I decided today that I am done with it. There is absolutely nothing I can do and I won't leave him if he never asks me, so what is the point?

Then I come home and he tells me he wants to go shopping this week for "sparkly things." All I could say was "are you serious?" and "don't do this to me if you aren't." I want to be excited, but he has done this before. I don't want to hope because hoping has led to disappointment in the past. I'm not sure what to think.

Any advice? Am I completely out of my mind?

I hope this is the last downer post for a while... sorry guys!

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I'm an adult... when did that happen and how do I make it stop?

So I guess it is official. I am a graduate student. wow.

It didn't really hit me today until the 9 of us first-year counseling masters people were sitting in class discussing why people change and why theories are important. The class is 2.5 hours long. Undergraduate classes are typically 50 minutes long on Wednesdays, so about 50mins into our class the undergrads walked by the door talking on their way to wherever it is that they need to go. The moment just felt so adult to me. Maybe its one of those had-to-be-there things.

My new job is kicking my butt. I don't see how people do it on an everyday basis! I will never underestimate the powers of an office manager... like, ever. I have two claims that were denied that I must fight (both of which have happened before!). It is a mess, and there is so much to do. It is intimidating and I have never done work like this before. It doesn't help that I was pretty much thrown into the fire with only 6 hours of training for a job it took the previous office manager three years to master. It will be a good experience for me though. Perhaps I need to learn that it is ok to make mistakes. Better to learn this lesson now than later I guess.

Part of me still wants to move back home and pretend I'm still 13.... Being an adult isn't as much fun as I had thought it would be.

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Faith

You are probably sick of George posts... sorry, but here is another one.

He is yo-yo-ing like crazy. One day he is moving a little bit and looking bright eyed. The next day, well, he lays around and won't even get up to go to the litterbox. He has another vet appointment in the morning, and I am scared to death she will tell me she can't do anything else for him. If she makes me choose to either bring him home and let him go here or to euthanize him... well, that is a decision I am not ready to make. I want him here with me, but I want him to be healthy. I do not want to put him through all the treatments and medicine anymore. I can tell he is very sore and weak from his illness, but he doesn't act like he is suffering.

I just don't know what to do... So I have decided to stop trying to make the decisions, and let God call the shots. He has shown himself to me so much in the past week, and I can't avoid knowing that I need to let go and let him take control. I have been praying for George, and God has taken care of him this far, so why shouldn't I trust him to continue to do so?

A good friend of mine works at the state with me. She is the sweetest woman ever, and always has a smile on her face. This summer, I noticed she was nowhere in sight. I asked around, only to find out she had been out since February with ovarian cancer. She came back to work today and eagerly shared her story with the entire division. She is literally a walking miracle. The doctors removed a tumor the size of a watermelon from her, and she has gone through six rounds of chemo. Her cancer is now in remission. God took care of her, and once again has proven himself as God (as if he even needs to!).

It is hard, but I am re-learning to trust Him and stop trying to control everything. I should accept His will for not only my life, but the lives of those around me. I know He is watching over George and me right now, and I now that he will take care of us.

Sorry for the random post. I'm just really stressed out right now. I hope to have really good news later this week...

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As Seen on TV

I am very disappointed with a recent purchase, and I wanted to warn everyone in case you want to make the same mistake I did.

I have a problem with straps... and by straps I mean bra straps of course. No matter how tight I make them, they always end up around my elbows within five minutes! It is so frustrating to constantly have to tug on them. So that is why I decided to get that strap perfect thing on TV. When I see something cool on TV, I usually wait around and see how long it lasts. If it's still being advertised after a couple of months, then maybe it's worth trying. I went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond and made my purchase yesterday, anxious to try them out.


(I had attempted to make my own version with paper clip and some tape. It worked, but it held the straps too far up my back and hurt my neck...)

I grabbed one this morning, and struggled a little bit but got it on, and continued with my day. It wasn't until this afternoon that I really regretted my purchase. When I took it off, it broke! And not just a little crack. No. It broke in half! What a rip-off. So now you have been warned. Maybe I should keep experimenting with the paper clip. At least it stayed in one piece!

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Looking for a change... just not here

*Warning: This will be a long ranting post, but hopefully it will be worth the read*

I will officially be a college graduate in four days. In four months, I will begin my classes for my masters. This is a huge change for me, and I have decided to make some other changes in my life as well... start with a clean slate so to speak. Within the next month, I will get a membership to the local YMCA and start working out (and crossing my fingers to fit back into my jeans from high school...). Another change to be made is that I have started going back to church.

Friend H and I went to a church last Sunday that I had never been to. I am very picky about church, and I want to make sure the church has its priorities straight. I get so sick of big churches that are more wrapped around getting bigger than focusing on God. I had a couple of issues with this church, but the main "piss-me-off factor" was actually a woman there. When she found out that friend H didn't have a home church, she made it her job to get H to join. After the sermon, the church had an opportunity for people to become a member (This bothered me too, pretty much for the same reason I'm going to explain in a minute). She held our hands, and started telling H that she could walk out the door and drop dead, and would then spend an eternity in Hell if she didn't go up to the front. While there may be truth in that statement, you don't try to convince someone to make a decision by scaring the crap out of them. She kept saying that she didn't want to have H's blood on her hands. I told H that if she wasn't ready it was fine. After all, a decision like that won't mean anything if you aren't fully into it. The woman looked at her and said "do you think when a woman is pregnant she can just tell that baby that I'm not ready for you and the baby will just wait it out? No, it's going to come anyway" The nerve!

The worst part was that she was mixing being saved with being a member of that church. The two should go hand in hand, but they don't. You can go to church and not be saved, and you can be saved and not go to church. Being a Christian is not about what church you are a member of... it's about your relationship with Jesus. I can't believe this woman did that to poor H. All of her attempts at getting her to join did the exact opposite. As we walked out we both looked at each other and knew we were never going back there for fear of running into that woman again. We are going to try another church this weekend, and if that doesn't work we will make the commute back to my home church in Frankfort. Wish us luck...

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Weird Week

I just realized that I hadn't posted since Monday. I guess I'm slacking again.... I'll just blame in on senioritis :)

This week is affectionately (...or not) known as dead week to UK students. It's the last week of classes, and we are supposed to have a very light load. Usually, though, we call it "the week you wish your dead" because there is way too much crap to take care of. Lucky for me, it was actually a decent dead week, and I didn't do much.

However, yesterday was the start of a very weird end-of-the-week. The bestie and I had a presentation on a research project we did together. I will spare you the details... it wasn't very interesting. That was fine, but afterward we were walking to the structure, when I got the double-honk-and-nod. Some guy in a white van tapped his horn, nodded at me once then drove off. I am going to assume that he thought I was someone else, because otherwise it's kind of weird. The weirdness continued today while walking to work. I was just walking, minding my own business, when I heard footsteps behind me rushing to catch up with me. I turn to see who it was, and it was one of my professors. He recognized me from behind..... I'm not sure how to respond to that. Even weirder, he walked and talked with me all the way to Kastle Hall. I guess that is normal to him. He has talked to me, gone to his office, then came back out to talk to me some more before, so this shouldn't freak me out I guess... So I don't know. What do you think? I am probably just reading too much into it, mainly because otherwise I was getting run into and ignored like I was invisible. Just a weird weird week.

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I did it!

I finally finished my first (and second) draft of my personal statement! I have really been stressing over this stupid thing since last August, and I finally wrote it. My stupid talent of procrastination really got in the way, and I hope it doesn't kick me in the butt in the end. I am hoping some of my professors or TAs can look over it for me tomorrow before I send it in Thursday morning *EEEEEK* Wish me luck!

On another note, I feel the need to rant. You all know how much I hate ranting, but sometimes you just gotta do it. I should start by saying how much I HATE confrontation. I would prefer to just hold everything in than take a chance on making someone else mad. If I do get the guts to confront someone, I usually feel bad about it later. It really is something I should work on.

Someone in the lab (who is not the brightest crayon in the box) assumed I would take care of something that she should have taken care of. She did not ask me or even bother to let me know. I found out when a participant emailed me telling me what was going on. This person no-showed on the participant without telling them. The participant wanted credit, which is totally understandable. The person told the part. to contact me for credit. I was not happy that it was just assumed that I would take care of it. Of course I would, but it's the principle of the thing. It is common courtesy to ask someone if they will take care of something for you. Well, I sent her an email after I got everything straightened out. I went over the procedure for missing lab times, then asked her to ask me next time she wants my help with something instead of making assumptions. It was stern, but necessary, and not mean. She responded with this huge sarcastic response about how she did this and that, which I know she didn't do. So now she is pissed at me when she made the mistake in the first place. I have a bad habit of letting people walk all over me, and I didn't want to let her know it was ok. I want your true opinion.... was I wrong to be upset? Should I have just dropped the whole thing? I keep second guessing myself, but deep down I'm pretty sure I did the right thing. I don't want us to be enemies either when we will have to work together for the rest of the semester. I really need a second opinion I guess. I will appreciate your honesty!

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Freezing!

I'm so over this cold right now. It's in the single digits, with wind chills below zero. RIDICULOUS! And of course I had to go out, even though today is my day off. Naturally, I got a text this morning from missing bookexchange girl (I'll call her MBG for short haha). MBG wanted to meet at 11 on campus. I got the text at 9:50 while snuggled up toasty warm in bed. Not a happy camper. I got up staring at MBG's text message saying "I hate you" (I'm not really a morning person, obviously). So I get myself up, throw on some layers and head out the door. At least she showed up early and I got all of the books. I then headed down to the bookstore and returned the books I had bought already for that class, and the book for the online class.

OK, now for that story. After waiting 5 days for a response to my request for an override, I get this message yesterday:

"Kirsty, I typically do not provide overrides as it is offered Spring, Summer, and Fall + there is another section of the course available. If you have a compelling reason, I will entertain it."

What... the...crap. Now, perhaps some of it is my fault for not telling her my life story in the email. She doesn't know that this is my last semester... and that the other section is a night class. But her class is a freakin online class. Surely she can fit in one more without complaint right? My tuition pays her salary... how in the world does she have the audacity to talk to me like that? "I will entertain it?" ????????? I've decided that while I do have a compelling reason, I am not responding to this message. I do not want her grading my stuff for the class. So I'm keeping my schedule, taking the writing class as pass/fail, and hoping for the best.

On to better news, I watched the little girl on Wednesday. I want to be able to talk about her, but I don't want to use her name so I'll have to think of something to call her. I'm open to suggestions! Anyway, she was an absolute doll! When her mom left she started to cry, but I sat down and held a toy up for her and she immediately stopped. It... was... amazing! She has started modeling, so she repeated a lot of the things that Matthew and I did. For one, Matthew was taking a nap on the couch. She pulled herself up to look at him, then she sat down, then laid down on the floor! She didn't fall, she did in intentionally! How cute is that? She also repeated some sounds I made while feeding her. I don't see a lot of problems except that she likes to be in the kitchen and open cabinets. I'm going to have to fix them so she can't get into anything. It's a small fix though, so I don't mind.

I plan on enjoying the rest of my friday indoors where it's nice and warm. I hope everyone has a wonderful friday and an even better weekend. Stay warm!

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Another rant... sorry

So now I am really stressed out. I despise the first week of classes because they bring nothing but pain and that horrible sound of an empty wallet. I have to get my textbooks tomorrow. This in itself is bad enough, but when you consider everything else it just keeps getting worse. To start, I want to drop one of my classes in exchange for an online course (with a much cheaper book), but the professor has yet to reply to my email asking for an override since the course is full. Honestly, how does an online course fill up??? Anyway, so now I can't decide if I should buy the books for the first class, buy the book for the online class, or just get them both and take back whichever one(s) I don't need. I want to be sure to get them used, but I'm not sure I can afford them all at the same time. AAAHHHH! Also, I have requested books off of ukbookexchange and the people have yet to get in touch with me about them. The books are super super cheap, but if the people are not going to follow through, I'll be left buying those books new from the bookstore (I can hear my debit card whimpering at the thought). I hate having to rely on total strangers for things like this, especially when they can't seem to hold up their end of the bargain.

To add to this, I found out yesterday that my cousin has picked out the dress I'm suppose to wear in her wedding this summer. This was also the time I found out that she wanted me in her wedding. I found out from my mom. My cousin has not called to ask me, she just assumed I would. Of course I will, but it's the principle. This part I don't mind, though, as much as the dress. Apparently it is pink.....and green.... in camo form! I have nothing against camo (at least when one is hunting or such), but I have never worn it in my life, and never thought the first time would be during a wedding. I'm kind of freaking out over it. I guess I will just have to deal though. If that's what she wants, then I guess that's what it will be. I'll get over it in a day or two I'm sure.

Sorry about all the ranting. It's been a long day. I hope to have a much lighter post tomorrow. On a happier note, though, I'm glad to have readers now! I was starting to feel a little crazy just typing away to myself. To all my new visitors, welcome! I hope you enjoy what you read, and feel free to stop by anytime and leave me some love :D

*update: I just got the email about the lab meeting on thursday. I'm totally shocked!

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